MORE ABOUT BETHBy Judy Shepard

I knew Beth, but not as well as I wished I had known her.  I only had the privilege of talking with her a handful of times.  I loved her greatly.  Western Meadows interviewed her in 1999.  You can read her interview by getting on the Archived Interviews on the Women Behind Cowboys section.  She was delightful to interview.   During the interview, she became fairly transparent with me and I sensed the struggle within her.   What I did for her that I have done for numerous other women over the years was to send her greeting cards.  I am sure I had sent her over fifty cards telling her how much Christ loved her and how precious she was in His eyes.   And when I heard of her passing, a stack of cards were still on my desk that was going to be sent to her one at a time, each week.

When Beth went to be with Jesus, I cried and cried.  I was sick in my stomach.  I prayed and prayed.  I prayed for her family, oh the pain that they have had to endure.  I am so sorry for all of it!

I believe every woman struggles with an inner fight.  We want so badly to feel worthy, to be loved; and to feel beautiful.  When life is hard we fight because we want things better and when things are good we strive to prove ourselves worthy of our blessings.  Beth struggled more than most women with these issues.

This is how I understand the circumstances behind Beth.  She had an addiction problem, and by the power of the love of Jesus was overcoming it.  Beth had an accident with her horse and then was back on many pain medications for an extended period of time.  I don’t know but perhaps this extended period of prescribed pain medications pushed her over the edge.  Pain medication can really mess a person up.  It can cloud your thinking and perception.  It can cause depression.  Any of us could do things on pain medication that we wouldn’t normally do.

I tried to help Beth, but was never able to get through to her.  I often think that at least part of my problem was because I wouldn’t make myself get close enough.  I would always make excuses like, “why would she want to talk to me?”  “They are so busy.” “Don’t bother them.”   “She knows you are available.” “She has other friends.”  “Why do you think you can help her?”  I put all of these excuses out to you because you may have a friend like Beth.
You may have a friend that needs what you have to give.  Don’t let excuses keep you from reaching out in love!  Love never fails!

Here are the closing words of Beth’s interview in 1999.  Please, we beg you to take her advice!

Beth:  If there is a couple out there and you are having a hard time—have the courage to ask for Christian help.   I struggled daily because I wouldn’t reach out.  I let my inadequacies keep me away from God.  Whatever you have been doing, even if it is horrible, the true Christian women aren’t judging you.  You may think you don’t fit in, or you will be rejected.  You may think you can’t come to God because of the terrible things you have done.  You may believe that God won’t love you, that He won’t take you back.  All I can say is He will never stop loving you. He will take you back.  He will forgive you.  He will make your life beautiful.  It is His job.  It is His specialty.  That’s the end of the story.

We went back in our files and found the original pictures that were taken of Beth in our interview in 1999.  We were at the Reno slack.  I woke Beth up and she came out of her living quarters and we did the interview.  They are included here so that perhaps you can see more of the personality and heart of Beth.